HomePortalGalleryFAQRegisterLog in

Share | 
 

 For fun I thought of givin some jokes.......Dont mind.....

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
Shadeslayer
...::: V :: I :: P :::...
avatar

Male
Number of posts : 13
Age : 24
Registration date : 2008-10-18

PostSubject: For fun I thought of givin some jokes.......Dont mind.....   Mon Oct 20, 2008 7:21 pm

NASA

It was a celebratory mood with the boys at NASA; they had just made the scientific achievement of a lifetime.

As they were uncorking a bottle of champagne, Dr. Lowenstein, the head scientist at NASA, asked everyone to be quiet as he had received a congratulatory phone call from the President of the United States.

He picked up a special red phone, and spoke into it. "Mr. President," said Dr. Lowenstein, grinning broadly, "after twelve years of hard research and billions of dollars spent, we have finally found intelligent life on Mars."

He listened for a second, and his smile gradually disappeared, replaced by a frown.

He said, "But that's impossible . . . we could never do it. . . yes Mr.. President," and hung up the phone.

He addressed the crowd of scientists staring at him curiously. "I have some bad news," he said, "the President said that now that we've found intelligent life on Mars . . . he wants us to try to find it in Congress."
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Shadeslayer
...::: V :: I :: P :::...
avatar

Male
Number of posts : 13
Age : 24
Registration date : 2008-10-18

PostSubject: Re: For fun I thought of givin some jokes.......Dont mind.....   Mon Oct 20, 2008 7:23 pm

Bush and Gore

Bush and Gore were sitting in a restaurant to discuss the craziness of the election.

When the waitress came to take their orders, Gore said, "I'll take the steak."

When she asked Bush, he said, "I'll take the quickie."

Gore motioned for the waitress to come closer, and whispered into her ear "He means the quiche."
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Shadeslayer
...::: V :: I :: P :::...
avatar

Male
Number of posts : 13
Age : 24
Registration date : 2008-10-18

PostSubject: Re: For fun I thought of givin some jokes.......Dont mind.....   Mon Oct 20, 2008 7:44 pm

2 will be fine for da first day......Have fun.....If any other jokes needed then please do inform.....

....Shadeslayer....
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Shadeslayer
...::: V :: I :: P :::...
avatar

Male
Number of posts : 13
Age : 24
Registration date : 2008-10-18

PostSubject: Re: For fun I thought of givin some jokes.......Dont mind.....   Thu Oct 23, 2008 11:46 am

Praying for a Bike

A little boy wanted $100 to buy a new bike, and his mother told him to pray to God for it. He prayed and prayed for two weeks, but nothing turned up. Then he decided perhaps he should write God a letter requesting the $100.00.

When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, they opened it up and decided to send it to the President. The President was so impressed, touched and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a check for $5.00. He thought that this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank-you letter to God, which read:

Dear God;
Thank you very much for the money. I noticed that you had to send it through Washington. As usual, they deducted $95.00 for themselves.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Shadeslayer
...::: V :: I :: P :::...
avatar

Male
Number of posts : 13
Age : 24
Registration date : 2008-10-18

PostSubject: Re: For fun I thought of givin some jokes.......Dont mind.....   Thu Oct 23, 2008 11:50 am

How To Handle Stress

1.Jam 39 tiny marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out.
2.Use your Master card to pay your Visa.
3.Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.
4.When someone says "Have a nice day" tell them you have other plans.
5.Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like.
6 Forget the diet center and send yourself a candy gram.
7.Dance n~~~~~ in front of your pets.
8.Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send him off to pre-school as if nothing was wrong.
9.Make a list of things to do that you've already done.
10.Retaliate for your tax woes by filling out your tax forms in Roman numerals.
11.Tattoo "Out To Lunch" on your forehead.
12.Leaf through a national geographic and draw underwear on the natives.
13.Tape pictures of your boss on watermelons and launch them from high places.
14.Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next day.
15.Buy a subscription to Sleezoid Weekly and send it to your bosses wife.
16.Pay your electric bill in pennies.
17.Drive to work...in Reverse!
18.Relax by mentally reflecting on your favorite episode of "The Flintstones" during that important Finance meeting.
19.Sit naked on a shelled hard-boiled egg.
20.Refresh yourself: Put your tongue on a cold steel guardrail.
21.Polish your car with earwax.
22.Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages.
23.Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you.
24.Bill your doctor for the time spent in his waiting room.
25.Braid the hairs in each nostril.
26.Write a short story using alphabet soup.
27.Lie on your back eating celery...using your navel as a salt dipper.
28.Stare at people through he tines of a fork and pretend they're in jail.
29.Make up a language and ask people for directions.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Shadeslayer
...::: V :: I :: P :::...
avatar

Male
Number of posts : 13
Age : 24
Registration date : 2008-10-18

PostSubject: Re: For fun I thought of givin some jokes.......Dont mind.....   Thu Oct 23, 2008 11:53 am

How Dogs and Men Are the Same

Both take up too much space on the bed.

Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.

Both are threatened by their own kind.

Both like to chew wood.

Both mark their territory.

Both are bad at asking you questions.

Neither tells you what's bothering them.

Both tend to smell riper with age.

The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.

Neither does any dishes.

Both fart shamelessly.

Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.

Both like dominance games.

Both are suspicious of the postman.

Neither knows how to talk on the telephone.

Neither understands what you see in cats.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Shadeslayer
...::: V :: I :: P :::...
avatar

Male
Number of posts : 13
Age : 24
Registration date : 2008-10-18

PostSubject: Re: For fun I thought of givin some jokes.......Dont mind.....   Thu Oct 23, 2008 11:55 am

Olympics

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman were without tickets for the opening ceremonies of the summer Olympics but hoped to be able to talk their way in at the gate.

Security was very tight, however, and each of their attempts was met with a stern refusal.

While wandering around outside the stadium, the Englishman came upon construction site, which gave him an idea.

Grabbing a length of scaffolding, he presented himself at the gate and said, "Johnson, the pole vault," and was admitted.

The Scotsman, overhearing this, went at once to search the site.

When he came up with a sledge hammer, he presented himself at the gate and said, "McTavish, the hammer." He was also admitted.

The Irishman combed the site for an hour and was nearly ready to give up when he spotted his ticket in.

Seizing a roll of barbed wire, he presented himself at the gate and announced, "O'Sullivan, fencing."
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Shadeslayer
...::: V :: I :: P :::...
avatar

Male
Number of posts : 13
Age : 24
Registration date : 2008-10-18

PostSubject: Re: For fun I thought of givin some jokes.......Dont mind.....   Thu Oct 23, 2008 11:58 am

3 Wishes

Three guys, one Irish, one English, and one Scottish are out walking along the beach together one day.

They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes in total", says the Genie.

The Scottish guy says, "I am a fisherman, my Dad's a fisherman, his Dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity."

So, with a blink of the Genie's eye "FOOM" the oceans were teaming with fish.

The Englishman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around England, protecting her, so that no one will get in for all eternity."

Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye "POOF" there was a huge wall around England.

The Irishman asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."

The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick, protecting England so that nothing can get in or out."

The Irishman says, "Fill it up with water."
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Shadeslayer
...::: V :: I :: P :::...
avatar

Male
Number of posts : 13
Age : 24
Registration date : 2008-10-18

PostSubject: Re: For fun I thought of givin some jokes.......Dont mind.....   Thu Oct 23, 2008 12:00 pm

Confession

Young O'Donnell rushed into a church, placed his rifle under a pew and entered the confessional.

"Father," he said breathlessly, "I've just shot down two British lieutenants!"

Hearing no response he went on: "I also knocked off a British captain!"

When there was still no response from the priest, O'Donnell said, "Father, have ye fainted?"

"Of course I haven't fainted," replied the confessor. "I'm waitin' for you to stop talkin' politics and commence confessin' your sins!"
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Shadeslayer
...::: V :: I :: P :::...
avatar

Male
Number of posts : 13
Age : 24
Registration date : 2008-10-18

PostSubject: Re: For fun I thought of givin some jokes.......Dont mind.....   Thu Oct 23, 2008 12:01 pm

His Father's Son

An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman were in a pub, talking about their sons.

My son was born on St George's Day," commented the Englishman. "So we obviously decided to call him George."

"That's a real coincidence," remarked the Scot. "My son was born on St Andrew's Day, so obviously we decided to call him Andrew."

"That's incredible, what a coincidence," said the Irishman. "Exactly the same thing happened with my son Pancake."
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Shadeslayer
...::: V :: I :: P :::...
avatar

Male
Number of posts : 13
Age : 24
Registration date : 2008-10-18

PostSubject: Re: For fun I thought of givin some jokes.......Dont mind.....   Thu Oct 23, 2008 12:06 pm

Bad Q & A's

Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A: A fsh

Q: What do you call a fly without wings?
A: A walk.

Q. What do you call a cow with no legs?
A. Ground beef.

Q: What happens if you get a gigabyte?
A: It megahertz.

Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick.

Q: What's grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow?
A: An elephant rolling down a hill with a dandelion in its mouth.

Q: Did you hear about the two ships that collided at sea?
A: One was carrying red paint and the other was carrying blue paint. All the sailors ended up being marooned.

Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
A: Dam.

Q: How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts?
A: Wi' Jammin.

Q: What does Bob Marley say to his friends when he buys doughnuts?
A: Hope you like Jammin too.

Q: What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
A: Nothing. It just let out a little wine.

Q: Why did the man get the sack from the orange juice factory? A: Because he couldn't concentrate.

Q: What's ET short for?
A: Because he's only got little legs.

Q: What do prisoners use to call each other?
A: Cell phones.

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.

Q: What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?
A: A stick.

Q: What do you call an empty bottle of Cheeze-Whiz?
A: Cheeze-Was.

Q: Why was the mummy tense and stressed?
A: He was all wound up.

Q: Why are skeletons scared?
A: They're easily rattled.

Q: Why was the broom late to pick up the witch?
A: It over swept.

Q: Did you hear about the terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?
A: He burned his lips on the exhaust pipe.


Thats for now.....
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: For fun I thought of givin some jokes.......Dont mind.....   

Back to top Go down
 
For fun I thought of givin some jokes.......Dont mind.....
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» Conspiracy of Thought
» Definately not the drummer I thought I was.
» Bad Mother-In-Law Joke
» Spoken - Through It All
» Angus Young Said That He "Never Thought Of AC/DC As Being A No. 1 Band'

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Yoshi Land :: ...::: Member's Ad da Zone :::... :: ...::: Fun-Zone :::...-
Jump to: